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Archive for October, 2010

All of us struggle with our sense of reality. Sometimes we cannot quite “see” what’s really happening. Other times we don’t question what we see so much as our ability to respond well to it.

In any case, a little thought clearly leads to the fact that our sense of our reality – encompassing both ourselves and what is around us – is something distinct from the reality itself. Unfortunately, it’s just not always easy to get a good sense of what’s really happening.

Consider for a moment, if this line of thought is a little murky for you, that all of science is simply an effort to address this problem – to get a better sense in our minds of what’s really happening “out there”. Science is hard work, which leads me to conclude that the problem it addresses is often not easily resolved.

I find that my own personal sense of reality and myself is subject to many distortions. Rarely do these mental errors help me live better, feel better, or like myself more, in the long run. In fact, such mental errors can often lead to short-term disaster!

In a recent email to a client, I addressed this issue, asking what they needed to remember about themselves and their situation in order to limit such mental distortions as much as possible.  I then offered the following ideas which I personally have found it very useful to remember.

  • I care about the people in my life, and this is good for me and them.
  • I can interact with them in ways that add value to their lives and mine.
  • Direct control of my feelings is not possible (because feelings are an automatic brain response), but indirect control, through attending my physical health, my thoughts, and where I choose to direct my attention, is actually easy, and usually has a powerful effect.
  • There are many aspects of my present situation which are evidence of great good fortune in my life. I am foolish to allow my attention to dwell too long on misfortunes which come my way, unless it is to learn something useful to carry forward in my life.
  • Investing a small amount of time in experiencing and expressing gratitude for what I have can lead to immediate substantial gains in the quality of my state of mind.
  • Progress in any area of my life is almost always possible, if I’m willing to accept the fact of my having limited power and knowledge. It can be difficult to be a mere human being, with all the limitations inherent in this status, but acceptance of my limitations can free me to work at reducing them, through patient, focused effort.
  • Good mental health is strikingly like good physical health: it usually doesn’t just happen, but rather results from intelligent, directed, repeated efforts. Children usually see and react; adults see, then plan, then act. They get better results. It’s better to be an adult.

To get these statements, I just asked myself what is true about my situation in life, and what I need to remember, given these descriptive truths, in order to function well. The set of “reminders” above are the result. They are not a final set, to be sure, but I note that just reading them improves my state of mind.

So…the question NOW is simply…what do YOU need to remember, about yourself and your life, to function well? I’ll predict that time spent with this question will be rewarding for you. I’d be interested to know what you discover…

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