THE JOKE’S ON US – IF WE’LL LET IT BE
Does your life sometimes seem like a joke? Mine certainly does. At times, it’s obvious to me that I can either laugh or cry. Not much of a choice, really, as laughing always seems like the better option.
I have long noticed that when we laugh the pieces of our life seem to shrink back to their real size. I have said to clients on many occasions that “Laughter turns dragons into lizards.” That this magical “shrinkage” can happen, so easily and so fast, is remarkable. It’s a kind of gift, which the universe makes available to us, anytime we feel a need for it.
CROSSING THE BORDER INTO A NEW STATE
The transformative effect of laughter is a perfect example of the “state of mind” phenomenon. This sophisticated yet simple concept begins with the idea that our brain consists of a group of semi-autonomous parts (rather like the various nations in Europe), each focused on its own job. At times, they pull together for a common purpose. Actually, they get “glued” together, and the magic glue is affect (as in “affection”) – more commonly called “feeling” or emotion. Technically, affect, feeling, and emotion should be distinguished, but for now we can just consider them all to be the same thing (see note 1, below).
The assembly of parts is always related to a specific task – say, cooking, or childcare, or driving a car, or laughing. Each “assembly”, because it lasts for more than a very few seconds, is called a “state”, in neuropsychology. It’s very good to be able to easily get to useful states of mind, and what is more useful than the state of mind where we can make laughter?
It seems to work like this: We motoring down the highway of our life, hitting too many of the holes in the road, and none too happy about it, then BAM! Something makes us laugh. It is then as if the sun comes out, and a gentle breeze blows across our face. A moment ago, our brain was reviewing all the evidence we’ve accumulated that evil forces are out to get us, and that we doomed, DOOMED…then things get rearranged in our brain, different memories get activated, we laugh, and the world appears quite different to us, all in a flash. True magic, because it’s all rather mysterious.
I think this is so important that I’m wanting to give some real time to thinking about it and to putting together some materials for use of my clients and other interested people.
SHOWTIME!
Meanwhile, I think it’s time for a demonstration, and I have some pretty good stuff to get the ball rolling, to convince you that I’m a brilliant thinker (you can laugh now!), and to generally improve your day. Hopefully, you have a dragon or two handy, so that you can get the full effect.
Here are links to two websites which routinely shrink MY dragons. One is the hands down most popular blog at WordPress.com, one of the most popular free blogging websites. The other is a similar site – a section of a website, really. In both, the site manager obtain photographs of their favorite animal, and provide captions for the photos. One site is mostly cats, and the other is a single dog. Site visitors are invited to offer their own captions, and some of them are quite wonderful. I predict you’ll love this stuff. It’ll induce a new perspective in your day (see note 2, below). Do check them all out, as each has a different flavor from the others.
- I CAN HAS CHEEZBURGER? – A little introduction: This site uses a kind of pseudo-English that looks like a cross between “baby-talk” and some kind of mess produced a beginner at English (or one of us native speakers, on a rough day). Once you catch on to it, it’s kind of fun. No question about the photos though – all fun, and often lottsa cute. Be sure to look at number of them, as some will strike you as funnier than others. One of my favorites: best alarm clock EVER! – oh man, I gotta get me one of those!
- passive-aggressive notes from roommates, neighbors, coworkers and strangers – This one takes a little more work. First, you have to understand “passive-aggressive”. Then you should be aware that the lingo of choice here is what you might likely hear in a college dorm – graphic, no-holds barred, with certain body-part references. Nothing you don’t commonly run into with Hollywood releases, but you mom might not approve. Next, you have to figure out (or not) why most (well, all that I looked at) of the contributions are from the more demure gender, if you get my drift. What’s the deal? Guys not allowed to offer anything? Nah…something else is afoot, I fear… Now…how is it the gender thing comes with the lingo thing? Am I getting old(er) or what? Confusing, but then that’s a response I’ve had before, with the more…uh…demure gender. Abandon hope, all ye who enter here…
NOTES
1. For a much fuller discussion of affect, feelings, emotions, and brain function, see my Feelings – deepening self-awareness in the early stages of psychotherapy.
2. Too bad that it won’t last, however. Know this: our brain is apparently designed to shift from one state to another quite gracefully. We shift in response to incoming stimuli. Witness how quickly we can shift when we’re absorbed in a book or movie and the telephone rings. In a flash, a different set of skills, memories, discriminations, and the like, become available for our use while we take care of the matter at hand. Then…we move on to the next state. We never think about it. BUT, if we get stuck in a state, as tends to happen with people who have psychological trauma disorder, THEN we have a problem, and thinking about it, with some professional help, is a very smart thing to do. Being stuck in a bad place is not good, but you probably already know that. What you may not know is that you don’t have to stay stuck.
